Jerry, you need to find god
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
