i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
3pm strippers are depressing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
