He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The struggles of a small town man whore
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize