Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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