google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
