so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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