Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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