party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
