I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
