one two three fourrrrnication!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
