ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
