i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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