she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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