Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
