How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
