Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
