i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
