Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
