I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
