Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who died my cat blue again?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
