Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
