I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
