so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
