if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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