For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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