Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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