I look better un-naked...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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