I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
