one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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