I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
