The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
