Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
her vagine was all disorganized.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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