Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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