The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
