This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
