We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
