Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
