and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
PANTIES FOUND
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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