Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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