Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
