i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
they're like a gay fantastic four
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
