i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
