I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
