it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize