did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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