It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
