I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
