I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i came on her dog
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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