My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
