i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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